THE DAILY EDITION.

They confiscated them because he looked Middle-Eastern, but his white friend was able to carry the cannon onto the plane.

TSA confiscated the cannonballs, citing the longstanding rule that carry-on munitions must fit in a quart-sized bag.

The passenger, a Civil War reenactor, told agents the theft itself was historically accurate.

After a brief discussion, the cannonballs were allowed through, but the passenger had to empty his water bottle, and discard a full-sized tube of toothpaste and his nail clippers.

The man would have gotten away with out being searched had he said Roll Tide...

The agents were alerted to search for the stolen balls after they noticed the passenger trying to board the plane with a 2,000 lb. civil war cannon.

Agents seized the cannonballs immediately, then spent another forty minutes deciding whether his shampoo was a threat.

Witnesses say the man cooperated fully until agents asked him to surrender, at which point he demanded better terms.

One TSA agent noted that it was a very ballsy move.

FBI director Kash Patel is deciding what message to have engraved on them.

He might have gotten away with it if his bag hadn’t weighed 200 pounds.

Apparently, he never received word that the South had surrendered.

I'm still sweating