THE DAILY EDITION.

After forty years of "Death to America," Iran's foreign policy now ends at the soybean aisle.

Trump announced what Iran would buy; its central bank announced it hadn't been consulted, like every marriage.

Finally, a farm subsidy funded by a country we bombed last summer.

Nebraska farmers wonder if this rial deal is for real.

They better, if they spend it on snacks and porn Trump's going to have to remove his belt.

Three tons of Orville Redenbacher 's popcorn were mistakenly sent with packaging that said "enjoy with your next jihad!"

My Capital One card…oh wait…that’s in my wallet

One hand. And the other one is hailing a taxi cab.

Damn phone

A helping hand.

Hardo EDC. Feat: ridiculously big carbon fiber torch lighter that I never take out but looks cool

lint