THE DAILY EDITION.

Quantum theory says a thing can be true and false at once until observed — making Trump the nation's first quantum president.

Quantum physics holds that observing a system changes it, which explains why the order gets more impressive every time Trump describes it.

Trump signed a sweeping executive order on quantum computing, a field he can now confidently mispronounce.

That's because Trump knows a thing or two about quantum physics; observation of bare particle changes the particle, but observation of bare girl changes the observer.

Trump said, "With this, Scott Bakula will show me how I can jump back to 2020 and win that election too."

It's an executive directive to have a 3 to 5 minute cartoon featuring a cat produced that will explain quantum computing to him.

When a reporter asked about the definition of quantum computing, he responded, "You're a nasty, nasty person, you know that?"

hands-on

The hands that raised me. And still holds me (and my pup).

Meanwhile … At Camp Nowhere

Some one cut their finger off!

HANDS! Reminds my of The Bear (new season starts soon!)

Someone gave me a hand today. I needed it.

Nail check